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REPORT:
MYSTERIES REVEALED, WEAKNESSES EXPOSED AFTER TEN HOURS
AND 150 WAVES IN MELBOURNE TANK! - 15th December 2019
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First
wave, day one. Butchered, of course. | Photo: URBNSURF/Jarrah
Lynch
By
Derek Rielly
Can
a kook finally reach nirvana if given enough pool
time?
I’m
an intermediate surfer, lower intermediate for the
sake of precision, and will never be anything more.
This
isn’t a new revelation.
It’s
a truth the has been demonstrated to me at various
times and at various places, Cloudbreak Teahupoo,
Ours and, twice last week, at Australia’s first
commercial wave pool, which can be found just a mile-and-a-half
from Melbourne’s international airport.
On
Monday, I enjoyed Urbnsurf’s hospitality from
one through til six as part of a media reveal. The
catering was excellent, Cliff bars, Poke bowls, spring
water in plastic bottles, beer and coffee from an
on-site van. I discovered the CEO of Urbnsurf, Andrew
Ross, and I grew up, in the same era, lived roughly
one mile apart and attended neighbouring schools.
Eerie.
Waves
were, mostly, a three-foot ledge called The Beast,
although there were waves in some sessions where turns
could be employed. It was very hot, one hundred degrees
Fahrenheit, the wind was a northerly offshore and
I surfed, first, in trunks, but was soon forced to
dress in a short-sleeved steamer as the water was
cold. With fourteen surfers in the water and eight-wave
sets every two minutes only one wave was caught every
four minutes. There was no paddling in between to
keep heart-rate up, body warm. An estimated fifty
waves snatched.
One
head injury was sustained. Stu Nettle, a very good
surfer and editor of the Australian surf forecast
site swellnet.com, was sucked up the face of a lefthand
tube and into the concrete bottom when a layback went
awry.
That
same week, on the Friday, I joined the party of an
old friend who had hired the joint from nine am until
eight pm, although the pool was switched off at seven,
much to the chagrin of the two surfers left out the
back and who were forced to paddle in.
I
spent seven hours or thereabouts in the water and
caught, at a conservative estimate, one hundred waves.
It was cold (eighteen degrees C or sixty-four F) and
the wind blew onshore from the south. A four-three
was the suit of choice although my Rip Curl 3/2 sufficed.
Over the course of the ten hours the pool was open,
I sustained myself by taking hot showers and eating
handfuls of the protein balls supplied.
One
head injury was sustained. David McArthur, a very
good surfer and newspaper cartoonist, was sucked up
the face of a righthand tube and into the concrete
bottom. The way he staggered out of the pool suggested
a mild concussion was also included in the deal.
What
did I learn from the experience of two days, of one
hundred and fifty waves under my feet? That I suck.
Yes, that, but that is hardly news.
I
learned that all those elements that I can disguise
in the surf, the indecisive takeoff, the mistimed
turns, the habit of staying ahead of the pocket, the
back foot refusing the plastic of my tail-pad are
magnified ten-fold in the pool.
And,
yet.
Ah,
yes, there’s a yet.
It
is only through the reveal of our flaws that we can
improve.
What
good is it to tell a child he’s clever if he’s
stupid?
Or
a painter that she has something unique when her work
is derivative and poorly drawn?
I
find my best moments when I’m overtaken by an
anger at the repetition of my mistakes and the slap
in the face of being reminded of my inability to surf.
Usually, I’l rectify on a wave, get my back foot
on the tail-pad, actually locate and hit the lip,
then go in, mission complete although new approach
not ingrained in muscle memory.
At
the pool, I was there for an extended period –
what was I going to do, sit and watch? – and
there was no escape from the truth.
In
the Monday session, I couldn’t understand why
I was missing the tube. I sent an email to the professional
big-wave surfer Mark Mathews who, perversely I suppose,
has been to the pool five times. He told me to forget
turns, stomp on the tail on the take off, sit in the
one allowable groove, and you’ll be caved from
ass to mouth, as they say.
Even
if it sounds straightforward enough, it took me all
of day two to understand what he meant and to…see…the
groove. It was only on the last wave of the day, at
one minute to seven, I completed a ride satisfactorily.
Backside,
less successful, although I’m starting to see
the line on that side, too.
I
won’t bother you with my philosophical take on
pools or whether you should spend eighty Australian
dollars on a one-hour visit there, that’s up
to you.
What
it gave me was a reminder of my frailties and an extended
period to, finally, address these multiple errors.
I’m
back, I believe, next Thursday.
*click
here for full article and multimedia
(BeachGrit)
Social
Media
Greg
Tingle
I
get it. Ha, I faced my ultimate truth of my current
surfing skills (or lack thereof) at Tamarama Beach
(one South of Bondi Beach) yesterday. I half caught
2.5 waves, helped retrieve another (real) surfers
board which got washed in, and took some killer photoart
shots of the OneWave line-up for The Wave Of The Day.
So, my actual surfing wasn't good by any means, and
my fitness let me down a bit too, but as an all rounder
day, it was enjoyable, great company, and the photoart
I took was a Christmas present of sorts for dozens
of people. If you still enjoy your surfing, while
well past your peak (in my case, Newport Peak), its
still bloody successful and enjoyable. My only competition
was myself, and I feel I won, so I did. I didn't even
get a fin cut or concussion, so that was a bonus.
Here's to enjoyable surfing sessions, be it professionals,
first timers, thrusters, or middle aged revisiting
their glory days with the cool kids at Tama or in
The Tank. PS: for Bondi Beach locals and visitors,
OneWave Bondi Beach group is still on via the South
End of Bondi Beach thru the festive seasons. Big Dave,
who looks like he leaped out of Big Wednesday, will
be in the mix flying the fluro flag. Lamrock Cafe
remains the cafe hangout to talk our trials and tribulations
of surfing (and life) after. Bring your mind, body
and spirit, and she'll be right mate. Evidence of
Tama via our own surfing channel, and we're pumping
the hell out of BeachGrit also : ) PS 2: a public
thank you to BeachGrit for helping cure some of my
writer's block during the year, and helping me fall
back in love with surf culture again. I reckon it
helps tons of ex surfing champs in their own lunchbox,
but I thought it wouldn't hurt to document it here.
It's all warming up for Rolling Stone, or whatever
other mag may take my surf and sports culture fodder
when the when the planets and universe aligns. PS
3: keep an eye out for the 'Radical Rodents' surfing
mice from an old Newport Beach mate of mine. Yes,
you read correctly. They are looking to get back their
former stoke and groove. Long live surf and life rebels.
Media
Man
News
Australian
surfing coverage friendly war heats up; Tingle news
media and yarns from the deep
Surf
Culture and Beach Culture promotions, photography
and photo art via Media Man Int, Media Man Australia
and Australian Sports Entertainment
Music
themed Facebook launched by Media Man Group; Inspired
by Rolling Stone, MTV and Chris Jericho's 'Web Is
Jericho'
News
media, wrestling fans, music biz buzz about potential
show featuring Violent Idols, Fozzy and Metallica
at same venue; Media Man exchange with AEW / Bellator's
Jake Hager. AEW momentum builds in Australia, Asia
Pacific, globally
Chris
Jericho launches Web Is Jericho - August 2019
The
Brag Media secures Rolling Stone Australia licence
- 20th November 2019
Rolling
Stone loves living statues from Human Statue Bodyart
creative team
Surf
Rock, Surf Music - What's this wave of music all about?
Elias
or Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson - greatest sports entertainer
/ wrestler - performing artist of all time?
Chris
Jericho on AEW vs. WWE: ‘This is a war —
even if you don’t want it to be’ - 16th
May 2019
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